R and R

Okay, so I'm a little slow.
I didn't want to use full names...something about being that exposed in cyber land.
So I gave everyone a abbreviation. And for 2 months, I've blogged.
And today I realized I've used R for both my husband and my son.
Since my son is still in Haiti, I haven't had to write about both of them at the same time.
But it's going to get confusing. Which R am I talking about? Could be weird. I hope she's not talking about her husband or they may have a parent/child relationship?
So then I changed R to Re...that should help. Then I thought about changing all the past post.
And then I realized how much time that would take.
So here is my solution. A five minute blog entry. Son is now Re. Husband is R.
Clarification for all...Next I'll take on global warming. Which does exist. Recycle!

Christmas Pictures...

Snow, Ice, Snow...beautiful! We were concerned our Dogwood trees in the front may not make it. But they recovered well.

Christmas with R's family. Everyone headed out to meet the Fire Department's Santa for candy canes. Yep, my father in law wore that hat all day. Just a happy little Santa helper, he is. A Norwegian, cigar smoking, Santa's helper.

This is what the holidays does to our family. Makes a little kooky. Maybe it's not the holidays, we just had an excuse to take a picture of it. We won't talk about how grown up C looks in that dress. She is still our LITTLE girl!

I apologize now for posting a picture of R in his robe. I should have made him get dressed. When your photo's go in a box, those details don't matter as much. When your posting for friends and family to see...maybe it's best to get dressed.

P got a bike for Christmas. It's pink, and she loved it. She then had to wait a week to ride it. It was mean. She finally asked if she could ride it in the house. Hmmm...no!

C got a mountain bike. It's a big person bike. Like I could ride it. But she is still our LITTLE girl. She was more patient waiting for the snow to thaw.

They also got the cute pj's they are wearing, and gifts from each other.

I'd post picture of R and I's Christmas gifts, but we haven't gotten them yet. Yeah...it's kinda sad. We planned on getting bikes. Were not big into surprises, so we were just going to get them together. It's New Years day tomorrow. And we haven't gotten them. Probably should that. Soon...

Tomorrow is R's birthday. I surprised him with a great gift... I'll share more tomorrow.

Christmas Past...

Ahhh Christmas...
I'm sad to admit it flew past me and I don't think I got much out of it this year. I don't feel the usually afterglow. Or like I understand who God is anymore, or what he's done for me. I don't think I feel any closer to my family. I think it just pasted on through my life, almost unnoticed. I really don't know why.
I think at least part of it, maybe a major part, is the feeling of being an incomplete family. Last year, our children weren't ours. They were an idea. A possibility. A wish, a dream, a prayer. This year they are R and Er. And they weren't here. They didn't have presents under the tree. We didn't see them in their Christmas outfit. We didn't wake to their laughter. We know them, and yet we don't. We are their Papa and Mama, and yet we aren't the arms they cuddle in.
We knew we'd have to wait. We knew we'd have Christmas without them. We knew we'd have a hard time with it. But it's harder than we realized. That's all.
Maybe we were taken back by how much harder it was then we thought it would be. We went Christmas shopping. We walked by a rack of toddler Christmas dresses. We looked at a couple of dresses, for Er. And suddenly we were both almost in tears. We didn't want to ship her a dress. We wanted to put it on her ourselves. We wanted to know we were closer to bringing them home.
And yet- God is GOOD... all the time. Even when we don't 'feel' it. Even when we are out of sorts. Even when the day to celebrate him is bittersweet. All the time God is GOOD. With or without our children here. Today, Tomorrow and the next day God is GOOD. He will be good the days we hear nothing. He is good the days we receive good news. He is no better the day we get to bring our kids home. He remains the same...
I'll post happy thoughts on Christmas, and photo's tomorrow. There were good parts, we had a good Christmas, we enjoyed C and P. We ate way too much, spent time with family, and played wii. Stayed tuned for the other side of the coin. Just keeping it real...

Christmas...

Christmas was good...I'll write more later.
God is good, all the time! All the time, God is good!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
God's Grace and Peace to this blessed season.

December Update

Okay, so I'm finally getting around to posting R & Er's December update.

"Rémy and Erlande are adorable children with a loving, playful nature. Rémy is in school much of the day, so I do not see him as often as I used to, but he is doing very well. The other morning before school, he and several of his friends were playing with a flattened cardboard box they had found. They pulled several playsets and chairs together and used the cardboard to make a roof for their little house. The boys were running around and laughing and scrambling to get a good position inside the house. However, as soon as the teacher arrived, Rémy and a few of the other boys raced off, trying to be the first to reach the classroom and welcome their teacher. Rémy is doing very well and he is a happy little boy.

Erlande is also doing very well and enjoying life. She has the most precious little smile, especially when she knows she is at the center of your attention. Erlande is certainly a little girl who is thriving here at GLA with all the love she is receiving. Erlande is quite confident and comfortable with herself and is able to decide what she wants to do and do it. Erlande loves her nannies and the older girls who care for her, but she is not dependent on them being nearby and will go off and play by herself when she wants to. Erlande and Rémy are doing well and will enjoy the holiday season with their friends here at GLA." -Melanie

Rémy
Weight: 45 lbs
Height: 43 inches (109 cm)
Adoption status: pre-IBESR

Erlande
Weight: 24 lbs
Height: 30.75 inches (78 cm)
Adoption status: pre-IBESR

Remy also got to attend a Haitian Dance Schools performance of The Nutcracker. He received a new soccer ball! I'm sure he was as excited about the new ball as the actual dance performance.

We are hopeful that we will hear after the holidays that our status will change to IBESR after the beginning of the year. We know that the adoption coordinator was working on getting files ready for IBESR before the holiday break- and hopefully ours is one of those. IF it is filed before January 9th, then we will not be required to get a presidential disposition from the Haiti government. While this is very possible-it is one more step in an already long process. So pray with us that our paperwork is able to be filed in the next couple weeks.

Pie... The most amazing apple pie EVER

I'm making this pie for Christmas. Last year I decided I was going to master making pies. I'd never managed to make a pie crust worth feeding to a hungry dog. Every attempt turned out awful. So last year, I found a recipe for pie crust from America's Test Kitchen-my favorite cookbooks. They test to find the best way to make something - and it's usually pretty dang good. So I made it - following the directions exactly. Which is NOT how I cook. Recipes are a guideline- but not to be followed exactly. Except with pie crust- follow exactly or it's horrible.

I made quiche, and it turned out okay. I made another one, and it was better. The neighbor brought over rhubarb, and I did a strawberry/rhubarb pie. It was ugly looking, but tasted pretty good. Then I tried apple pie, and it was good. I mean GOOD! The pie crust was perfect.

It was everything a pie is suppose to be, and it made me happy to have 'figured' it out.

Then I found this recipe on Pioneer Woman's website. It's apple pie on steroids. Well, not quite, but on caramel, strudel topping and nuts. It's amazing. Every recipe I've tried of hers is good. Check it out. I even want to try her Prune Cake. Made with prunes- but she makes it sound delicious.

Anyways- back to making pie today. I still use the America's Test Kitchen pie crust, and the Pioneer Woman pie recipe. Still can't follow a recipe exactly... but man the results are amazing.

My pies are still ugly, no matter what I do. I crimp, and the crust shrinks. But the great thing with this pie, I make the strudel go over the edges and it's a rustic look and no one knows I can't make a pretty pie. It's takes so good, no one cares if it's ugly looking. It's so good, no one cares if it has a four sticks of butter in it. It's so good, forget the pumpkin pie and cheesecake. It will knock your socks off...

Cabin Fever

It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing!

And I'm still loving it. Yep, I'm not tired of it. I shoveled the walk this morning and enjoyed it. I went out shopping yesterday, no problems driving. If anyone needs a ride -let me know.

But I do know that cabin fever is starting to set in. And in the day of Internet - I don't think we have any idea of real cabin fever. Not pioneer days kind. Not even no cable TV kind. I figured all of those stuck inside would be exploring the world wide web. Here is a couple of my favorite sites, good for a laugh.

Cake Wrecks - oh, how I laugh. I'm not sure what makes a badly decorated cake so funny, but it is. Check out cupcakes from today's post...

Oh, Oh, Oh...it is so funny. And her commentary is the icing on the cake.

Passive-AggressiveNotes -Okay, I'm not sure what makes me laugh about other peoples unhealthy way of dealing with conflict. Maybe it's that I missed living in dorms, or am married to a man who can exhibit such behavior. Maybe it's the years spent in corporate america, where passive aggressive behavior is awarded with promotions. But here's a new favorite.

I love the cartoon kitty drawing. I love the Pro -Tip. I'm wondering what credentials you must have to call yourself a pro at showering. Is this a college level class? I'm also thinking that if you have a roommate that has showering issues- maybe the shower isn't the best place to leave your note. A white board where rebuttals can be written is a better approach. This site if PG-13, maybe even R. So beware before you open in front of your kids.

I have a few others, I'll share some other time. But these two will keep you from going crazy today, remind you of a world where cakes are badly decorated and people have other issues than snow to deal with.

wii...

Wii had Christmas with R's family today. And wii got one family gift (vs. a bunch of small gifts, and toys that are discarded by March) and it's a wii. wwwwiiiiii - were not usually a gaming family - but wii've had so much fun playing on my sister in laws wii had to ask for one.
And it's fun to say wii... we = wii... wwwwiiiiii...
It was a fun day, and it snowed. And the kids played in the snow. And we had cigar -o- thirty, in the snow. And we watched the dogs play in the snow. And we had hot chocolate, and watched it snow. We played more in the snow. We chained up the car, in the snow. Yeah for snow on 'Christmas'.
Growing up we always had snow on Christmas. We spent Christmas with my Nana and Grandpa John. They lived in rural eastern Oregon. We'd open gifts, eat lunch, then load up to go snowmobiling. We'd spend our holiday snowmobiling. It was so much fun. So the snow today brought back fond memories of hours spent in the snow celebrating the holidays. I'm not sure how snowmobiling celebrates Jesus birth - but I'm also not sure how eating turkey does either. Or how playing Rockband on the wii does either. But it sure was fun.

R's first lost tooth!

It seems that R lost his first tooth. Love that beautiful grin. Here is the story that goes along with the picture, per Molly at GLA.

'Arron lost a tooth yesterday morning. He was so proud and could not wait to show it to Joyce and I. We were elated for him and “wowed” over this big moment in his childhood for several minutes. Instead of quarters the kids get a piece of candy for their teeth… an unusual trade, but they seem to like it. When R saw that Arron had candy, he called him over to help him with his loose tooth. Joyce saw what was happening and tried to intervene, but by the time she got to them the work was done and with a very large, very bloody gummed grin R proudly handed over his tooth and asked for a sucker. '

Check out GLA's website for more of what it going on at the orphanage. Kidz Korner is where this story comes from.

If a mom's hug had a smell, it would be the smell of baking bread.

I made my Nana's bread today. Because having 9 kids wasn't enough to do? No, because I needed some comfort. I was feeling the stress of being a mom to so many, and I no longer have a 'mom ' in my life to support me during those time - I did the next best thing. I made my house smell like fresh bread.

We lived with my Nana for six months. In a old farmhouse, four miles from a town with under 200 people in it. The nearest grocery store was 45 miles away. So we made our own bread. Every 3-4 days, out came the bread bowl and the house smelled heavenly.

I learned to make bread watching her and my mom make bread. It's not something one makes from a recipe. You learn how hot the water should be to proof the yeast. You learn how much flour to add. How long to knead, how to tell if it's raisen enough, how to make a loaf. It's handed down, mother to child, Grandmother to grandchild. I had CN help, and she is starting to figure it out. It was exciting to see her willingness to help me.

Making bread connects me to my mom and Nana. It reminds me of thier love and support, and that they would be here if they could. It transports me back to a time in my life when I knew no different than to be surrounded by thier wisdom.

I needed to knead my frustrations out, to smell yeast proofing, to feed my kids something I had made, to eat 'real' bread for dinner. If you've never made 'real' bread - your missing out on one of life's greatest pleasures. It's right up there with sitting in a hotsprings while it snows, sex on a Tuesday morning, really good chocolate, perfect strawberries, and the David Crowder Band.

So tomorrow, when there is no school because it's cold and wet- I'm going to make Chicken Noodle Soup. Which I'm sure I had homemade soup as a kid- but have no emotional attachment to it at all. I just told my mother in law I'd bring it for lunch on Saturday. But my kids love it. They will probably have an emotional attachment to it. I sure make it more than bread. And it's almost as good.

We recieved our update for R and ER... I'll post more tomorrow. Here are pictures though.

It's snowing!!

It's snowing. It's beautiful. Lovely...

I'm sending the kids out to play in it.

I'm staying in. Snow is most beautiful from the inside of a warm house.

The question is...how long will it take to suit everyone up?

Ready, set, go...2:45pm and counting.

2:51...coats on most, snow pants on some, hats on all.

P upset her shoes aren't tight enough.

Everyone distracted by TV.

2:55...snowpants on all, coats not zipped yet, P shoes still too loose.

2:57 minutes...someone has to go potty, take off coat and snowsuit.

3:00...finding gloves, putting back on snowsuit and coat, P decides shoes are tight enough

Yeah, so it has stopped snowing. The irony!

Send them out anyway.

3:02...starts snowing again, P ask CN to use her gloves. CN makes snarky remark.

I tell P to use them and CN gets mad.

3:05....everyone except P ready to go.

P still looking for gloves.

3:06...P finds gloves, finally ready to go.

Open front door, burst of cold air comes streaming through.

Push kids out, go change poppy diaper.

10 minutes of quiet...ahhhhhhh

Redneck fort...

We moved when I was 7 to Oregon, from Nebraska.

In a BlueBird Bus.

My dad took all the seat outs except one.

All our worldly possessions were loaded in the back.

And westward we went.

It broke down in Wyoming. Dad sold 2 guns to pay for the parts to repair it.

It broke down in Idaho. My Nana came and got us.

They had it towed. And the tow truck dropped it down a small ravine.

It stayed in storage for a year.

They had to sue to get damages covered and buy a new fridge.

They had it moved to our backyard.

It stayed there for 10+ years.

Yep, 10 years.

It was extra storage. It was a hay barn. It was fort. It was a make believe house.

It was a bus, in our backyard. The possibilities were endless.

We pretended to 'smoke' straw. Stole a lighter from Nana. We should have blown up.

An old bus with a tank of gas, full of dry hay, and kids with lighters. That's grace. folks.

We built tunnels with the hay. We made a 'house', couch, beds and all.

My dad sold parts off of it. Little by little it was dismantled, engine wise.

Everyone knew our house in the neighborhood. It was the one with the bus in the backyard.

Even in a small, redneck town - that stood out.

And it was a great hiding place for hide-and-seek.

It was a great place to make out.

It was a great place to storm off too.

Yeah, I did have an 'interesting' childhood. Don't we all?

Did you? What makes other peoples childhood interesting?

Oh yeah...making out- that was hypothetically speaking. I would have never done that.

There was a hill in town for that.

Snow!!!

It snowed last night and yesterday...school cancelled, of course. Five extra kids and a stranded house guest makes for a fun day. We bundled up and went out to the school yard to play. For 20 minutes. Now it took 15 minutes to get bundled up. Then almost 10 minutes to walk across the cul-de-sac to the school. 20 minutes later, it took 10 minutes to walk home and another 15 minutes to unbundled everyone. Then another 20 minutes of warming up and hot chocolate. So no hurry to repeat the experience.

Snow makes me miss my hometown. The beauty of fresh snow. The way it makes the world look new overnight. The sound of it under snow boots. The pleasure of riding a sled. The snowball wars, the snow forts, hiding a snowball to bring inside and shove in the freezer for later. What I don't miss...scrapping ice of car windows, piles of dirty snow on the side of the road, listening to studs on the roads, and always looking for gloves.

Growing up we usually had snow from Halloween to spring break. We only had 3 snow days in 10 years. Snow was the norm. You didn't stay home from school, you didn't even stay in from recess. The year we had 'snow days' there were 6ft snow drifts in the valley. The snow drifted up to the side of our house, and we could have sledded down the roof and drift. We would have tried too, but were sent to the sledding hill before we had a chance to try it out. We had a sledding hill 2 blocks from our house. We left as soon as we'd had breakfast to head to the hill. We'd come back for lunch. We'd beg to go sled on the 8th street hill. We'd head off to the college, where 8th street was the steepest hill in town. I don't think I've run across a hill that steep anywhere- maybe San Fransisco has them. The college students would pour water down it, and it'd have a good thick layer of ice. It was steep enough, you'd continue on for 2 blocks after the hill. It was amazing...truly amazing.

We lived next to a large city park. We'd build snow forts and have massive neighborhood snowball fights. We also grew up snowmobiling. On really good snow days, we'd be able to snowmobile through our neighborhood. Until someone got tired of the noise, and would threaten to call the cops.

We'd make snow ice-cream. I wish I had the recipe, although it was simple. We'd put a bowl out before we'd go to bed. We add vanilla, sugar, and cream, and stir well. It was more like a slushy than ice-cream, but it was good. I hear it might snow more- I should set out a few bowls. When you only get a couple inches of snow- you need lots of bowls. When you get six inches, you only need a couple. Activity for tomorrow- since I'm sure there will no school tomorrow either.

Good News- it's the third week of the month, which means an update on R and Er is coming.

Dear Husband...

Dear R,

You truly amaze me...and I can't help but adore you. You worked all day, and came home to a wife in a lousy mood. You let me lay down and read, taking care of dinner and kids. We planned to set up Christmas docorations, and you did it by yourself. And it looks lovely. You didn't have to, you had every reason not too. But you did, to make me happy and feel loved.

I am truly a blessed woman to call you mine.

A

UGH!!

My house is a messy...

I don't want to cook dinner, again.

My tree is up, but the ornaments keep 'falling' off (I think they have help)

My house isn't decorated for Christmas, and I can't seem to care.

I'm tired, and my ears hurt from the cold and noise of all the kids.

I don't want to change one more poopy diaper, and I smell 'something'

I miss my kids, even though I've never met them and it doesn't make sense.

It's cold, and there isn't even snow to enjoy.

I tired of hearing "I'm telling on you" and footsteps headed my way.

I know I should be thankful for my home, my family, my life...

but today I'm just worn out by it. By the housework, by the cooking, by the holiday preparations, by the kids, by the cold, by the homework battles, by life in general.

I know this too shall pass, and that God is faithful to give us strength.

I'm just being honest, it can't all be roses folks.

So I'm kinda pouty today.

It's not very attractive, and I don't like it anymore in myself than in my kids.

I think I'll make cookies for snack, and pizza for dinner.

And some grace for myself.

Permission to have a pouty day, to not play Christmas music, to put a movie on for the kids, and to ignore the floors that desperately need a broom right now.

I'm going to bed early tonight, tomorrow is a new day.

Good Morning,

I hope everyone's monday morning is going well.... Here's a run down on mine. This will either make you tired (which is had for me), thankful for your morning, or want to bring me a cup of Dutch Bro's coffee (I'd like a peppermint mocha, please?).

7:05am -crawl out of bed late, while DJ tries to get me to buy a new car with no money down
7:20am-out of the shower, waking up and talking to God
7:21am-P bumps into me, puts her long arms around me and whines she doesn't 'feeeellll goooood' -which can mean she's sick, or tired, or just doesn't want to go to school. It's up to me to decide. Send her lay on my bed until she can get in the bath
7:25am-CN comes in, she's in tears -Science homework isn't done because she didn't mention it all weekend, and just now remembered it's due today. Bummer for her-send her to hurry and get a shower so she can finish this morning
7:30am-shoes on, 1st child shows up, start making toast and peeling oranges.
7:35am-2nd child shows up, CN out of shower and finishing homework
7:40am-3rd child shows up, P in the bath, CN done with homework and making lunch,
7:55am-4th child shows up, P is in her room trying to put her pj's back on. Convince her to get dress and start her day and then we'll decide if she can make it through the day, finish getting breakfast on the table
8:00am-finish dishes, start dishwasher, P comes to the table to eat and starts to perk up, start coffee
8:10am-5th and 6th children show up, don't like oranges and whiny from a long weekend
8:20am-dog throws up, hear kids yelling and moaning...make myself put down freshly poured cup of coffee and go clean up
8:25am-P finally done eating, ask her to finish getting ready for school-reminding her she has 20 mins till time to leave, go to get P's shoes out of dryer- forgot to start dryer last night so they are wet, start dryer and pray they are dry by the time to leave
8:30am-7th child shows up late, with 4 bags of stuff from a weekend with dad and throws it in the entry way, remember cup of coffee and sit down to take a drink and then get up to pull out canned food for kids to take to school. P makes a tower of cans on the counter.
8:35am-Remind P to make a lunch, and she comes out with her new Christmas shoes to wear to school -umm, no. P gets mad that it takes to long to tie her tennis shoes and she isn't going to be ready. Tell her her slip ons are in the dryer, and to make her lunch. She goes in the opposite direction of the kitchen where the food is.
8:36am-P comes out mad she can't find her lunch box (that has been missing at school for 2 weeks). Remind her it's at school and to get a plastic sack. She again goes in the opposite direction as the kitchen. Go to see what she is doing and she is putting on shoes in laundry room. Go make her lunch, she yells at me not to put baby carrots in it, put baby carrots back in fridge and pull out snap peas. Write a loving note to her for her lunch, reminding myself I do love this child.
8:38am-put P's lunch in her backpack, find dirty shirt and wonder how long it's been in there, leave it for now and hope I remember to pull it out after school. P has shoes on! Ask her to get her coat, she goes to coat closet pulls out a random coat that belongs to another child and says she's wearing it. Ummm, no. "Find your own coat, Please." Tell CN, child #2 and 3 to get ready to go to school. Move pile of suitcases to couch- how much stuff do they really need for 2 days?
8:40am-Walk P back to her room, pull coat off the floor and put it on her. Give her backpack and she walks out door dragging it. Tell her to wear backpack or she'll put a hole in it- there are cans of food, remember. She yells that it won't fit on her back with a coat on. I'm sure they didn't think of that when they designed backpacks. I put her backpack on her back, everyone else is at the end of the driveway waiting for her. Send her off with a kiss, thankful she had an "okay" morning and is going to school.
8:45am-sit down with cup of coffee...and finish it. Now to tackle the 5 loads of laundry to fold, change a diaper, clean bathrooms, and make shopping list. And maybe another cup of coffee...I've certainly earned it.

School Conferences...

Those days off of school I braced myself for- they were the result of school conferences. I seem to remember going to school, and then conferences in the evenings. I don't remember getting days off for conferences, but maybe I'm wrong. It just seemed that when I was a student the goal was to be in school as much as possible. Now it seems to be okay to have the kids not there for teachers meetings, grading, conferences, inservice, and holidays. I LOVE teachers, and have the utmost respect for them. It's not a digg on them. But common sense says that if you want kids to learn they need to be in a classroom with a teacher.

So that has alot to do with nothing really. Both CN and P have great teachers. Really good teachers are one of the biggest blessings in a parents life. CN has this unique problem - she likes to read at the determent of her other work. She rushes through her assignment so she can pull out a book and read. This also has changed since I was in school. We had free reading time, and otherwise you didn't pull out a book to read. If you finished math early, there was an extra worksheet to do. If you finished science early, homework was your fate. You didn't rush to get done, it only meant more work. So we have given the teacher permission to take reading away at school. It also seems odd to have to 'give permission' to the teacher to take action when there is a problem. It also seems odd to take away reading. However, she has to focus on using her school time wisely - because next year it will really matter. Jr. High is like that. We are needing to focus on math facts in a major way over the next month. So times test have made their way into our daily routine. We had times test in school too- and I remember hating them. That hasn't changed much.

P is doing well also, all things considered. Her eye issue has resulted in delayed reading. She is being treated for Convergence Insufficiency. Unfortunately she has developed a bad taste for reading. Which is soooo sad for us. R and I are huge readers, CN obviously is a reader. What will P do instead of reading around here. Besides, I have books I've saved since I was a girl for her to read. She is in a focused reading group, and we focusing on it at home. She also has been referred for a speech evaluation. Her great teacher noticed a issue with 's' and 'th' sounds. When she brought it up, you could tell she was bracing herself for an argument from us. I started to laugh. Of course she needs speech therapy. We've already done Occupational therapy, and vision therapy. We want her therapy to well rounded after all. So we were more than happy to have FREE therapy. That is a new experience for us - and were more than happy to accept.

So overall - good things to hear, always something to work on. And at least we have great teachers who are on our side and willing to work with us.