Isn't it best for children to stay in thier birth country..

As we started to research adoption, especially inter-racial adoption we discovered that experts often say, "it's always best for a child to stay and be raised in their country of orgin". We were surprised to agree with them, more than we wanted to admit. It seems only logical. If we died, we'd want CN and P to stay in the good old U.S.A. We'd hate for them to grieve the loss of everything familiar. We would want them to retain the culture of their parents.
However, if it meant health, education, a loving home, LIFE, and a future...well, they better get ready to adapt.
That statement makes perfect sense, from my home with a roof, my children at public school, a fridge full of food, money to buy more, and medical care readily at our disposal. It seems reasonable considering none of my friends or neighbors children have died from malnutrition, AIDS, malaria, dehydration, or hepatitis. I wouldn't have ever thought to question it, until I started to hear about Haiti. Until I realized that our household income is almost 100x the average Haiti's income. And yet food isn't 100x cheaper. In fact, many things are more expensive. If I made $300 a year, what would I be able to buy at Safeway to feed my children, without any assistance. How would I also buy uniforms for my kids to attend school? Or pencils and paper for them to learn? I wouldn't be able to send them. What if they got sick, I wouldn't be able to pay a doctor or buy medicine.
Now what if that child lost both parents? What if they only lost one, but the other had 7 kids to take care of? Well, it would be ideal for another family member to take this child in. Lets say I have 2 children I'm struggling to just feed once a day. I'd love to think I'm such a great person that I'd happily take on more. But I think the reality is that I'd resent watching food going from my children's mouth to someone else. And that is what happens. The 'adopted' child gets the leftovers and is a second class member in the family. I hope this is the exception to the rule, but it doesn't sound like it. So maybe they should be adopted by someone in their country. However, with 80% of people earning under $2.00 a day, most families in Haiti do not have the ability to take care of orphans. Add to that the lack of birth control, families aren't looking at adoption to expand their families.
So that leaves children being raised in orphanages. Even the BEST orphanage, which we believe GLA to be the best, is still an institution. Even UNICEF agrees this is not a good solution. Now, there are orphanages that are run family style, with the intent to raise children in Haiti. Hands and Feet, is a great example of this. However, there just isn't enough of it to take care of every child in Haiti.
So that leaves international adoption. And what I believe to be the bigger picture. The eternal picture. That picture that doesn't draw lines of division among God's people. That the family of God is bigger than the country borders, bigger than the gulf between cultures, and greater than the difference in skin color. That God desires us to add Re and Er to our family, I will trust that it is in their best interest.
When we heard they had a 5 year old brother that has not been surrendered, we really had to face this issue. Our minds immediately said, "He should be given up, and we'll take him. We can give him so much more, and he needs us." But then we prayed about it, and talked about it. It came down to this, " IF his father is unable to care for him, and he is surrendered -we will ask to adopt him. But if he father decides he is able to care for him, we will choose to believe that is in his best interest. That being raised by his birth father in his birth country is what he deserves first. It's what all kids deserve." And in a perfect world, that is what kids would always have. What our world is broken, and in quite a mess. So their birth country and birth family can't ALWAYS provide the basic needs.
I can agree with the statement, without the always. It's confining. It doesn't allow for poverty, AIDS, lack of birth control, lack of education, and natural disasters. It doesn't allow for the most important need children have - to be loved, to be wanted, to be important to someone. I do believe that in an ideal world, Re and Er would stay with their birth father and be raised in country. But their world is severely broken and the next best thing is to be part of a family that loves them. And that is us, without a doubt in my heart.