I'm tired...so tired

This has been a very busy day.
I've switched to Outlook for a calendar. Considering my lack of technical ability, coupled with my inattention to detail- it seems like a perfect fit. (Insert sarcastic voice)
So my task list has about 5 items that are now in the red. What does that mean? Have I failed? It's like turning in a project to your 5th grade teacher, and receiving it back covered in red pencil. It did remind me to pay the bills and I did them...which is good or I would have forgotten until about the 15th. Which is one day after everything is due. I did make myself print off the charter school application for C, and she started it. I think we were suppose to turn it in on Monday.
I think the problem lies in the user. I have to actually put things in the calendar, before they come up. Appointments, classes, activities are easy to do that with. Things like this application-I don't think to use my calendar for those misc. issues. If I had thought last month, (when the decision to use Outlook had not been made) to put in a reminder that would have been great.
So I'm giving myself six months to figure it out - then I'll be stuck with it for the rest of the year. Why, you ask? Because nowhere will have a 2009 calendar to buy.
Maybe I should get one now- just in case. Besides they are on clearance.
Anyways, back to the day. I couldn't make myself get out of bed until 15 minutes before I'd have kids at the door. So no shower to start my day. I had the usual kid load of 8 to start the day. The kids were out the door on time, I even sat down for a cup of coffee and FINISHED it. As in drank the WHOLE cup while it was still warm. Then a latecomer got dropped off, and I was able to catch up with her mom. Just about the time she was leaving, a friend and her two little girls showed up. With Starbucks...which I did not get to enjoy while warm. But it was just as good cold. Anyways, between the extra kids, a 23 month appendage who was sure I'd leave her with this strange women, and trying to keep the laundry going I didn't get to drink the Starbucks warm. At 11:30am I had to pick up at kindergarten, at 12:15pm drop off at preschool. Usually I do that with all the 'little' kids in tow - but my friend was kind enough to stay with them. The 23 month old was right, I left her with this strange woman. Her fear was founded.
I got everyone down for naps, only to have a kido be picked up at 1:30pm. Then my friend didn't leave until 2:30pm, about the time I was getting kids up to go pick up from preschool. At 3:00 my bff stopped by to visit and make plans, as I was quickly trying to get one red item off my task list and pay the dang bills. And then kids walked in from school at 3:30pm. The next 2 hours were filled with homework, noise, making dinner, more noise, parents picking up, a little less noise.
I had a daycare father pick up late. They are a 'two parent' family. Mom called and said Dad would pick up. He didn't call that he would be late. When it was time for me to close, I called him and left a message. He showed up 6 minutes after I closed. I asked him to call me if he was going to be late, and if it continued I'd charge a late fee. He asked if the mom had called, and didn't she tell me. Besides he's used his vacation time, and can't leave work until 5:00pm and so won't be able to get here any sooner. Yeeeaaahhh, they are called boundaries. I set them up before you started care with me. If YOU are late, YOU are responsible to call. I close at 5:30pm, regardless of when you get off work. And your ex-wife is not responsible for calling me. YOU are not a family unit, and I operate with the assumption that you as a 40 year old male are capable of being responsible for yourself. Sometimes, okay most of the time, the parents are more frustrating than the kids. Personal Responsibility is in short supply these days.
So then it was a race to run errands, before heading to church for small group. Okay, so here is the cool part. All day I was thinking I'd just skip church tonight. God would have understood, I was exhausted. The issue with the daycare dad an hour before church did not help. I had other things to do. But I went anyways, unshowered, hair a mess, and feeling just beat up. Weary, and downtrodden. And we talked in group about spiritual nourishment. And how hard it can be at times. And I was able to have the transparency to actually ask a question that I've held back on, thinking it would show how little I've got it together sometimes. But how do you have that spiritual accountability partner? Where do you find a mentor? Is there a form to fill out, a line to get in? I've always been told I needed one, but don't have a CLUE how to go about it. I tried once in a woman's ministry bible study. Yeah, the leader was younger than me in age and her spiritual walk and was suppose to be my trainer. But she friends with the person running the program. I'm not good at trusting woman in general, but especially 'churchy' woman. It made me think church wasn't the place to find this. So I've been really at a loss, and yet I yearn for it.
So here is the great thing... another gal who I really adore and admire asked me if I'd like to start getting together. This gal reads my blog, and if she makes it this far... Thank You. God did for me, what I couldn't do myself. All day, God knew what I needed. How much I needed it. And life threw everything it could to keep me from going. At 6:30pm when I knew God wanted me at church and I went when every cell in my body said the couch at home was the place to be, it was for his purpose. Even if it doesn't work out - just her reaching out felt like the hand of God in my life. But I'm going to pray it does work out. And that it will be good for both of us.