How is it going???

If I had a dollar each time I'm asked this, I'd be able to build a house in Haiti. Maybe for the kids birth family. (Thanks Jaime for the post idea)
And the answer is difficult. I've made a decision to be honest about our process with people. We have seen in the adoption world, this glossy exterior that can be deceptive. In the name of making sure adoption is presented in a good light, people aren't honest about some of the realities of it. The only share the good stuff. But we've decided that we'd rather be honest, so God can be glorified through all of it.
So it's a challenge to answer this question. There is no one line answer. There is no quick update. And sometimes, I don't know how it's going. Do you mean this week, or the last two hours? The answer could be vastly different.
So how is it going? There are some really good things happening. Re is picking English up quickly. He may still need speech therapy, however he seems to be easy for people to understand. He loves school, and has a really good teacher. We've made the decision for him to stay in this class next year, giving him a full year of second grade. He is currently at the beginning of first grade level for math and reading comprehension. So it felt unrealistic to expect him to be successful in third grade next year. We are having less melt-downs when things don't go his way. They are also shorter and less intense. He is talking about Haiti. About the earthquake, about his birth family, about GLA. This is a good sign to me, that he feels safe here. We have encouraged him to tell us about his life in Haiti. We ask often, Did you have this in Haiti? Did your parents do this with you? Not to compare, but to understand. And to help them remember. Re seems to be okay with this. He has fond memories of his birth family and Haiti. We have some concerns that he will romanticize Haiti, and his life there. So it's a delicate balance of being honest about his life there, and yet honoring his birth country and family.
He is still struggling with the permanence of our family. He calls our home, Mama's house. But not his house. We are being purposeful in our words. He still says he is going home to Haiti at times. We are explaining that we are now his family. And we will take him to Haiti and visit, but we are his family, even if we are in Haiti. And that when he is an adult, he can go back to Haiti. And we will still be him Papa and Mama.
Er is struggling with more right now. And has no ability to voice it, or even understand what is driving the behavior. She is particularly missing Molly, and ask daily for her. She has thought our neighbor was Molly, and was devastated when she left after a visit. She is trying to understand what having a Mama looks like. The daycare kids call me by my first name, so Er has decided that she should also. I think she still relates to me more as a caregiver than a Mama. She has began to have 'real' fits, that involve flopping on the ground, kicking and screaming, wailing and gnashing teeth. Sometimes it's an attention getting behavior. Sometimes it's out of frustration. Sometimes it's out of grief. And sometimes we have no idea why.
Ce and P each have their own frustrations and irritations about our new family. They are each dealing with it in their own way. We are thankful for their ability to ask for what they need, as well as manage their feelings in a healthy way. However, this transition has been tough on both of them. I wouldn't recommend doing it this way.
We don't always know if a issue is a result of being adopted, birth family, earthquake, evacuation, or a mix of it all. There is no study done, no literature about what is normal and not normal for a child that is brought home after a natural disaster and evacuation. There is no expect advice to go off of. We are becoming the experts. However, I believe God chose Re and Er for us. And he knew there'd be an earthquake. He knew we'd get them in a less than ideal manner. And yet, he proceeded. So I rest in who God is, trusting that he will equip us, not the experts.
We are probably going to be pursuing some counseling in the next year. In the meanwhile, we are working on language and being a family. And that will take time, day in and day out. So that is how things are going. I'm thinking of making a brochure to hand out when asked. It seems easier.