Beauty in the Chaos

For years I have worked to create a sense of order and balance in my life and soul. To create routines. To have life run smoothly. Appointments made on time. Bills paid on time. Money in the bank. Clean dishes and underwear. Time to have a friend over for coffee.



And that has all gone flying out the window. Overdrew the checking account. House a mess. Getting a shower feels like a major victory most days. Clean underwear a product of chance. Garbage bill in my purse waiting to be mailed. Officially late now. Sticky floor that has been that way for two days. And working out - hahahahaha...only if the stars and moon align.



I know that this too shall pass. I'm working on new routines. I'll figure out a new system for house work and errands. And in the meanwhile, I'm working on seeing the beauty in the midst of all of it.



That the sticky floor is due to Er eating icecream. That we have money to cover the overdraft. That everyone misses a bill here and there. That the dentist understands if we are running a few minutes behind. That other cultures wear their clothes many times before they wash them. That all this chaos is a direct result of God answering our prayers. That he is still present in the midst of it all. That he is using this to soften my heart about expectations I have on myself. Unrealistic expectations. I'm not super mom. I don't have it all figured out. I won't for awhile. And that is okay. In fact, it's exactly where I should be today. And tomorrow. And maybe even a few months from now.

Now - the agenda for today. Make homemade chocolate icecream. And laundry and phone calls. But icecream should be the number one priority. Because it makes chaos a while lot sweeter.