Scrapbooking....
I scrapbooked today, working on R & Er's books. I enjoyed the creative process, enjoyed seeing progress from the time I spent, and made an awful mess all over my coffee table. I also realized why I scrapbook - because I won't remember it all.
I really won't - and I want to. I want to remember the feeling of anticipation of R and Er. I want to remember the excitement of CN and P, and thier precious prayers for a brother and sister they haven't met yet.
I have forgetten so much already. What my mom's voice sounded like. What my Nana's hand's looked like. What a first date felt like. Most of my teachers, only remembering the meanest and kindest. What time I went to school. What the kids' name that lived on the corner. What we did for 4th of July growing up.
Maybe it's not memorable, maybe I just have filled my brain with other stuff. But when I go back to a page I made 5 years ago, I travel back there in my mind. I remember what P looked like at 2, what CN sounded like at 5. I remember what they wore for Christmas, and how it felt to hold them. All the moments I want to remember.
I want that for my kids. I want them to have a place to go to remember. A place to relive thier youth, learn life lessons again, hear thier mom's voice in her stories, and maybe even offer some clarification and healing.
So I scrapbooked this afternoon, and it may be one of the most important things I do today. That and cleaning the toilets. Cleaning the toilets are important too...but that's another blog.