Christmas is in the air...

And this year it's all sweet. The last two Christmas's have been bittersweet. The first one after our referral was a little bittersweet, but we didn't have a real attachment yet. It was sad that Re and Er weren't here, but we were hopeful they'd be home by the next Christmas. Optimistic, but naive.
Last year, was full of bittersweet moments. We know by October, that it wasn't going to be that they'd be home. But we had held them in July. We knew the sound of their voices. We knew how they felt in our arms. We could imagine their excitement and expressions of being overwhelmed. We knew just what we wanted to get them for Christmas. So every tradition had an edge of longing to it. Getting the tree, we wished they were there. As we got our the ornaments we had bought for them the year before, we ached to have them put them on the tree. As we opened gifts, I thought of them opening gifts without a Mom and Dad to ooohhh and ahhhh. I thought of them going to bed on Christmas Eve, wondering if someone had to tuck them in over and over again, as they tried to stay awake to catch a peek at Santa. I prayed someone reminded them that it all was really about the gift of GRACE that Jesus was.
This year - it's all sweet. Getting to enjoy them as they ran around the tree lot, hiding amongst the trees and drinking hot chocolate. The JOY that cascaded down my soul as they pulled out the ornaments I've lovingly chosen just for them the last two years, and carefully hung on the tree. The sense of anticipation that Re exudes everyday as he counts down the days. The way Er says "It's Christmas, Jesus Birthday. We have party in the park with party hats." Hearing Jingle Bells 22 times an hour. Listening to them remember what Christmas was like in Haiti at GLA. Answering questions daily about what we do on Christmas. Explaining again that yes we will make Christmas cookies.
And as I personally meditate on what the gift of Christ coming to earth mean to me, I'm again amazed at how adoption is a perfect picture of God's redemption of me. That Christ was my dossier. He was the adoption cost, the approval, the authorization that I needed to be an daughter of God. That just as I stood before authority and vowed to provide for the needs of my children, and give them the same rights and privilege as biological children, Jesus stood before the authority of God and vowed to provide what I needed, that I'd have the privilege of being in his family.
And the amazing thing is this, he doesn't demand that I love him, despite all he did. And as a parent, there are days it's tempting to demand it. To guilt, to manipulate, to try and force it. And yet, he could and he doesn't. He wants so much more than that. He wants us to choose to love him.
That he came as a humble human being. He took on the body of a mortal. That the infinite God, become burdened by humanness. So I could relate to him. So I'd know he'd been where I'd been. So I could relate to him. It makes no sense. That he created prophesy, and fulfilled them all, so I'd have a reason to believe. So mankind would see his faithfulness. His perfect faithfulness. So he would be known to me. I just can't get my mind around it.
However, I do know this. He is a God of Redemption. Through the birth of Christ. Through the fulfillment of prophesy. Through the deliverance of me from my sin. Through the healing of grief. The very fact that my children are here.