Today...

We know that...
Re still needs an afternoon nap. He loves ice cream. He is brave and like his daddy, has good veins and barely flinches getting blood drawn. He likes peppercinies on his sandwiches. He has an ear infection, but has not complained. He likes the tram at OHSU, but only wants to watch on the way up. He likes to help mom in the kitchen. He doesn't like salad dressing.
Er needs more than an hour nap. She likes the ice cream in the cone, but could care less about the cone. She doesn't like any vegetable. She sometimes eats the apple peel, and sometimes she spits it out in little pieces onto the floor. She is strong enough it takes 4 people to draw blood, and can be heard at least 50 feet and a wall away. Her cries can break her mama's heart. She likes to charm the adults around her, but is starting to only want Dad or Mom when unsure.
I'm currently not in an emotional state to be strong enough to get through a blood draw with them. R thankfully is. We need to arrange for the meal delivery to be permanent. It's either that or cold cereal for dinner from now on. Our bedtime is now 9:30pm. Parents of four go to bed right after the kids - it's a survival mechanism.
We think bonding is happening. It's slow. It's hard. We doubt almost every decision. We don't want to do it wrong, but there is no real guidebook on what is right for them. We don't take it personal when it seems they aren't bonding - it's been a week. But we worry none the less. We do see moments of attachment and we are trusting that it will happen in time.
We are still trying to navigate the next step legally. We feel like we are in a hole, and there are 20 hands reaching down for us, but we don't know which one is attached to something secure to pull ourselves up by. We have heard we need to contact DHS for custody. We have heard we need to file a packet of paperwork with USCIS that other parents are doing upon reunion. We have heard that we need to retain an attorney, either adoption or immigration, or both. We have heard that the our house has been turned into a zoo and we can start charging admission...okay kidding on the last one. But the rumors swirling around are almost that funny.
We know we are blessed the children were evacuated when they were. The process has slowed quite a bit. UNICEF has gotten involved, as has the Haitian media. There are rumors of children being stolen, and trafficked. And I actually don't doubt that to be true. I think that is probably happening. However, I don't think the parents at the Embassy with their children, with 2 years worth of paperwork are the one's at fault. So we are thankful that our orphanage director had the wisdom to work as quickly as they did. And that as a group of parents we were able to respond quickly.
We also know that CN and P are two amazing children. That they have been prepared well. They have accepted the changes with a grace that is really beyond our expectations. I think it just might have alot to do with the cloud of prayer surrounding our family. We know they love their brother and sister. We know they are being understanding of the process they are going through. We know they didn't ask for this, and yet they have embraced it.
We know that we are seeing who God is in a completely different way. We know that at the end of ourselves, there he is. When we can't do one more thing, there he is. When we are spent, and there is more to be done - there he is. And that when others bring us meal - there he is. And when they get a blood draw the first time- there he is. And when we read his word, and the verse is exactly the encouragement needed for the day- there he is.
Okay, almost bed time. I don't think I've ever looked forward to bedtime like this before. The mental, emotional, and spiritual exhaustion was not expected. I expected physical exhaustion. I expected some emotional tiredness. No one can warn you, I guess. And I think it's normal to adoption. Throw in a natural disaster, a week of worry and little sleep, a whirlwind trip to get them, add a 'normal' adoption transition fatigue...and it's only by God's grace and mercy that I'm still standing to fight another day.