More trip details...

Okay, so we've recovered. We're finally processing food correctly. We're sleeping again. We're following traffic laws again. We've processed. Here is what we know for sure after our trip.
-We miss our kids. A LOT. Every day. Every hour. Sometimes it's enough to make a deep breath painful. Sometimes it's just lingering in the background of everyday life. But it's always there. It's different now - our arms know how their bodies feel. And now they ache for them. Our ears know their voices, and long to hear them call for us. Our hearts are committed to parenting them, but they aren't here. Our souls are committed to love them, but from afar for now.
-We felt alive in Haiti. In a completely different way then we ever have before. We really don't know what that means. A part of me says to pack up and move our bums to Haiti to live. To have our family together. To serve God in a place that so glaringly needs Jesus's hands and feet to be present. To hold babies, to teach preschools, to love on those Jesus loves. And yet, there is no calling for us to do that now.
-We see America, it's excess, it's wealth and prosperity differently. There was a moment in the Miami airport. We had went to a buffet restaurant for dinner. I ordered a fish dinner. They gave me 10 pieces of fish. I couldn't finish it and wasn't going to take it on the plane for 6 hours. So I went to throw it away, and I looked in the garbage can. And there was enough food for a family for a week in that one can alone. And I paused and was repulsed. I was holding a plate of food, and it was going to be wasted. Two hours earlier I had been in a place of true poverty. The differences were startling. I can't help but judge myself harshly - I over consume, I over indulge, I think I'm entitled. But I'm not.
-It's hard to come to terms with the unfairness of it. I know I don't deserve to have more than the Haitian mother who gives her child up. But I have so much more. It's not fair that we have money for vacations, fancy homes, new cars, dinners out, etc. I know we all say we work hard and 'earn' it. And while it's unAmerican to say it -I didn't earn this lifestyle I'm blessed with. The people of Haiti didn't do anything to 'earn' a life of poverty and I think they must work hard just to survive. Harder than I do for sure. It's kinda like survivor's guilt. Why them and not me.
-We have a lot of people who prayed us through our trip, through our adoption, and over us. It is an amazing experience to be the center of such energy.
-No matter what people say about racial relations in the good ol' USA, it's discerning to the only one of your color in a room. Regardless of how you feel about race, when you are the only one who is different, you know it and so does everyone else in the room. I think we are more accepting and less likely to make unfair judgements based on some one's color. However, it's still noticed. By both sides. It was a good experience to be on the other side of that coin. It humbled me and gave me a much needed perspective.
-We can't go by ourselves next time. We need another person, to carry bags, hold kids, help with whatever that needs done. It was crazy with just us, carry on's and the Haitian airport.

A friend just called and is stopping by. LOVE IT! Nothing better than a friend dropping by.