Tuesday, October 20, 2009

New family member

We have a 'new' short term family member. A 16 year old exchange student. Here is a summary of the last 2 weeks with her. We'll call her CJ.

-2nd day of school. CJ goes to dance at 5:00am. Yes, in the morning. Except she doesn't hear the alarm. At 4:43am, call from ride. Wake up CJ. CJ calls at 6:45am, forgot school books. R agrees to drop them off. Tell CJ to be at the front door. R goes to high school, no CJ by front door. R late. R frustrated. R doesn't like to be late. At All. CJ calls at 2:30, saying she missed the bus. Tell her I'll come once kids get home, will be at 3:45pm. Ask why she missed bus. Had to stay late for a class. hmmm...that doesn't count as missing the bus. Inform her that she needs to plan on calling and walking home if she doesn't catch the bus. CJ understands, and I encourage her to keep a pair of walking shoes in her locker.

-4th day of school. CJ is not home, and should be. An hour goes by, no call, no CJ. Another half an hour. Worried, called coordinator. Coordinator not home, talk to coordinator daughter. Waiting for call back, CJ walks in very tired. She missed the bus and walked home. Along the bus route. Explain need to call home first.

-Next week, CJ calls after school that she missed the bus and would like a ride home. Explain I'm unable to come get her. She needs to put on walking shoes and walk home. She says she is wearing high heels and didn't bring her tennis shoes. Bummer, you still need to walk home. Takes 2 hours to walk halfway home, we only live a couple miles from the school. Friend is kind enough to pick up and bring the rest of the way home. Hopefully we learned the lesson. Catches bus rest of the week.

-Saturday, we go to community center. At 6:15pm informs us she needs to be at school at 7:00pm. We just got in the pool. Tell her we are unable to take her on such short notice. She calls her friends, decides to wait till we are home to figure out what her plan is. Calls her friend, finds out event isn't that Saturday.

-Saturday, makes yummy Korean dinner for us. Despite my warning, eat piece of raw beef. Wakes up 24 hours later, violently throwing up. Blames it on the veggies she ate.

What we have learned...
-16 doesn't mean independent. The exchange program has a completely different idea of independent than I do.
-Kids need a parent at 16 as much (or more) than at 6. They need as many reminders. As much love, grace, and patience as a newborn. They are also funny, and can be quite a bit of help. And they can make dinner.
-We are getting lots of practice for our upcoming parenting years. And practice is always a good thing.