Your derie air

Hey, you - girl in the early twenties. Yes, you - with the shirt that you are trying to wear as a dress. You, with the bottom of your rear hanging out. I know you think your rear is spectacular. I know that you think it's worthy of a second glance. I know you think your hot. I get that you probably work out and think it's one of your best assets (pun intended). But the rest of us aren't impressed. And you, standing next to her. With the top half your rear hanging out over your jeans. If the jeans don't fit over all your gluts - they don't fit. There is nothing attractive about a girl fitting herself into pants that are the 'right' size, that don't actually fit. And funneling the parts that don't fit over the top isn't a good enough answer to that problem. And you, young man. Pull. YOUR. pants up. I can see more hair on the bottom half of you then the top half. NOT GOOD. And you - the woman who looks to be the mother of this bunch. Walk over to that rack of jeans and buy a size 8. You are not a size 4. And it's okay. Really. No Really. No one will judge a size 8 woman for wearing a size 8 pants. But you look silly stuffed in those jeans.

I know that modesty standards have changed. I remember (and know is when I sound old) when body suits were a little racy, for being so skin tight. Now, it seems skin tight is considered normal and appropriate for woman of all ages, in all situations. I get that the style is low rise. While only 1.2% of the population (according to my calculations) actually look good in low rise pants, that means that the rest of you just look ridiculous. Really. I. Know. I can't believe no one has told you before. Especially if you are over about 35. Then it's just downright embarrassing. I'm embarrassed for you. No matter how cute your girly body is...35 and low rise with crack showing and a muffin top don't go together. If your 22 at least it's possible you just don't know better. But at 35. You. KNOW. Better.



And men/boys are no better. Really. As a teen, early adult, my guy friends would have been mortified if they were caught with their pants down. It was called depantsing. It was embarrassing. You did it to another person. Now it seems, they do it to themselves. Whatever might be attractive about a woman's rear end, is not attractive about a guys. Sorry. Men's rears are best when nicely covered. In wranglers. Or Levi's. Or board shorts. It really is best if it's left up to a girls imagination. Then she can pretend it's better than it is.



Here is the bottom line. ONLY your significant other, husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, whatever, finds your hiney attractive. And they are probably just being nice. There is a reason that we all wear clothes. It's to hide the parts intended for us and our partner. Sure it's because it's holy, special, etc, etc, etc. It's also because no one else wants to see your hairy crack peeking above your pants, or your rear jiggly as you walk by.



Okay, I feel better. And no, I'm not jealous. I'm well aware of what I should and shouldn't wear. I'm tired of being subjected to other people's immodesty. Everywhere. Target. Church. Safeway. I really don't like buying grapes next to woman who keeps reaching back and tugging her jeans up a 1/3 of inch to cover an inch of crack. I'd like to shop for toilet paper without the guy next to me giving me full exposure of where he plans on using it. YUK!!
Enough said....