A few important details...

Here is some of the basic information we have...
-Kids are doing well. They have food, water, and care. The orphanage is handling it well, all things considered. They have needs, and there is a huge group of people committed to meeting the needs. PRAISE GOD!
-Our paperwork was signed by the judge, and picked up on Tuesday and delivered to the orphanage before the earthquake hit. It was scheduled to go to legalization on Wednesday. God's hand is indeed working in the midst of this. Our adoption decree and additional paperwork is SAFE.
-The senators in our state, the State Dept., Dept. of Homeland Security, and The Joint Counsel of International Children's Services are working to seek a solution. However, we can not rest until these children are on a plane ride home.
-We are tired, we aren't sleeping well, and we are busy. I'm trying to rest my voice today. I've talked more the last few days, then in the last couple months. That is saying something for me, because I'm not short of words. R has talked more the last couple days, than the last 6 months.
However, what we are experiencing is small in comparison to those who are working in Haiti.
I will also be posting an action plan to follow, as well as a link to the KOIN 6 interview.

Update

Well, it's after midnight and once again I'm wondering when sleep will come. And then I realized I should update this blog, since LOTS has happened in the last 4 days. Whirlwind.
Tuesday was a difficult day. It was the anniversary of my mom's death. This date is always hard. And I was just trying to get through it. I had turned off the computer and was trying to just rest and get through it. About 2:30pm, a friend called and told me there was a hurricane in Haiti. My first thought was that it was a small event, and hoping that the kids were okay. Then I started to hear the details, and started to panic. I can't describe the feeling, other than the downward part of the rollercoaster. Thankfully it was short lived, and it was posted the GLA (our orphanage) had survived and had no injuries.
We then started to wait and gather details. We hadn't really started to think about what it meant for us, for the kids, for the adoption process. By Wednesday, we began to worry. Really worry. That it would be years before we'd be able to get the paperwork finished. That our file could be in a pile of rubble. That our kids could spend years in the orphanage. And then we surrendered it again. And again. And again. God ordains adoptions, and God completes adoptions. He is mighter than an earthquake. We contacted the Statesman Journal, who ran a story that included our journey. Anything to get attention on GLA and the needs there.
We were asked by the orphanage director to start asking the US government to help get these kids out. We started the process of contacting Senator's offices. We started to send out request for people to make phone calls, send emails, and be heard about these kids. Thursday was spent on the phone, trying to be heard. And I think it might just work.
There is alot going on, lots behind the scenes, that even we don't know about. But the powers that be, are seeing what can be done to get kids here. Our kids here. Soon. We have began to have a sliver of hope that it could really happen. There is still much to be done. The Haitian government, what is left of it, will need to act. The US has to figure out how to legally do it. The logistics of moving kids from the orphanage to the airport, and then out of Haiti, is a nightmare.
However, our God is a God of redemption. He can work all those details out. He can move the Haitian officials to make a decision. He can provide a way through the red tape.
We have been surrounded by love, prayer, and support. The calls, emails, and prayers have given us hope when we feel like throwing our hands in the air and screaming. We are so overwhelmed at times, and then a call comes in, and we are reminded that God can not be overwhelmed.
We aren't sure how quick this will happen. A few days, a few weeks?? We have lots to do to get ready. We haven't painted their room, our exchange student is still in it, and don't have a single thing for either of them. I get overwhelmed thinking about it, and then someone calls to offer their help. And I realize that they will come paint if I need them too. That our needs will be met.
God has shown himself through this process, since the first thought of adopting occured to us. Our file was in courts last week. We were expecting to hear it was out this week. On Tuesday, before the quake it was retrieved by the orphanage. It was to be turned in for legalization on Wednesday. Both of those building are piles of rubble. And our file, with a adoption decree, is safe at GLA. He will redeem this situation.
Okay, truly should go to bed. I feel tired. I feel like I should sleep. Sometimes I can, sometimes I lie there thinking of where is the best place to go shopping for Re, what color the room should be, where to get hair products for Er, and a million little details.
Tomorrow I'll post specific prayer request. Prayer is the weapon of choice in this battle.

Readers Digest Version of Christmas

Christmas Eve- Spent at the in-laws with one side of the family. Drank Pinot Grigio - Duck Pond to be exact. Watched Grandma look like she had been taken captive, and Grandpa try to figure out how to troll the house in his wheelchair. Then off to Christmas Eve service. Which our exchange student thought was kinda off - going to church in the middle of the night?? Then home and to bed.
Christmas Day - Wake up, do stockings and presents (R made me a beautiful necklace) and eat Rhodes Cinnamon Rolls and pomegranate for breakfast. Off to in-laws for Christmas with R's family. Then more family came, more food and more presents. Then I was blessed to spend a few hours at the local woman's shelter. Then home to crash.
Day after Christmas - out of town by 9:00am to head to my hometown. Made it 8 miles before exchange students begins throwing up. Too much Christmas food, Christmas candy and Christmas desserts. Long trip made even longer. Arrive at my dad's about 3:00pm. Christmas again.
**Get Ready- the best part is coming up**
I received a beautiful scrapbook made by my dear sister in law. My dad found a roll of undeveloped film, had it developed and it was of me as a newborn. Pictures of me and my grandmother - the only one I have of just her and I. Pictures of my mom, looking just like my sister. Pictures of me and my dad. It truly was an amazing gift. On many levels. Just to have new pictures of me with my mom, who is now in heaven, was a beautiful gift. Pictures of me with both grandmas, amazing. That my sister-in-law created a beautiful book of it, really lovely. I don't know that I would have ever been able to.
We spent the next week hanging out, have pictures of the kids taken, shopping, helping my sister paint her living room, and playing in the snow. Then a long day home - snowy, icy roads and tired kids.
I just started to get Christmas stuff put away. And I'm sad. Because it seemed like the holiday ran away from me. And that I hardly noticed it was here, and then it was gone. And while I felt it was more simple and reflective than other years, I have a strong desire to do it again, only with less doing and more being. Being present. Simply being present in the moment - enjoying the gift of relationship with a God who loves me. Not so much baking, gift opening, and running around to get the list completed. Just being present.

Yeah...

So I've been a little absent...the reasons why...
-Sea Salt Truffles -click on it for the reciepe
-Apple Pies - my favorite holiday treat
-An 11 year with an attitude that could peel paint off a wall
-only doing handmade gifts this year (exceept for Russ-just couldn't figure out how to make what he needed)
-A 16 year old who thinks the world revolves around her
-And on top of all that, I'm working out 3-4 times a week and really focused on my health
Time to run...

Christmas is coming...

Here is a small little detail about adopting that no one discloses to you...
-Holidays without your kids are hard.
Okay, I don't know who would be in charge of disclosing this. Or if they could really prepare you. Or if you'd listen in the excitement of getting paperwork together.
Last year was hard. However, they were just an idea. They were pictures. They were 2D.
This year. We know what they feel like in our arms. We know their laugh. We know how much they'd love the Christmas lights, staying up till midnight on Christmas Eve, the turkey and rolls, sitting on Grandpa's lap, and being here surrounded by family that loves and adores them. We want to share this with them. We want to see their face on Christmas morning. We want a complete family for Christmas. We want to be together. And while our Christmas morning will be like years before, it will be hollow without Re and Er. Hollow is the best word I have to describe it.
And while we will enjoy moments with Ce and P, and we will experience joy and peace, it will all be twinged with the sadness that we are separated from the ones we love. And yet, we know that Christmas is a time of sadness, hurt and pain for many other people. A time to remember those who are gone from their lives. A time to remember that which is painful. A time to endure. We know that God desires more for us. He desires a life of joy, even in times of sadness. He says he is present at all times. And that he came to earth, not just for a salvation moment, but a lifetime relationship. A God who knows our pain, who has endured that pain, and who promises to redeem our pain, and desires to have us rest in his promises. And that is the joy that can overshadow any sorrow we have.

48 hours - The Lost Children

If you got to watch this, I'd love to hear your thoughts. If you didn't, here is the story. It's heartbreaking. It's devastating. It's WRONG! It makes me angry. It scares me. It makes me angry again. Angry for the children. Angry for the birth parents. Angry for the adopting parents.
This is the reason why adopting internationally is risky. It's the reason signatures are double checked. It is the reason birth parents should be interviewed. It's the reason both governments MUST act responsibility. It is the horror story of any parent who adopts. That they one day will discover their child is not truly theirs.
It's the story of adoption in Samoa. The adoption of children who were NOT true orphans. The story of a organization that lacked integrity, and two governments that failed the children involved.
Focus on Children acted wrongly. They lied. They elaborated. They weren't honest with birth parents or adoptive families. They called adoption a 'program'. They promised the children would return. They promised pictures and updates to the birth parents. They LIED.
They lied to adoptive parents. They said their children were orphans. That they had no family to care for them. The deceit is sickening. And what is even more sickening, there were questions about the integrity of the program - and it continued. Until a child died.
And children were telling their new parents about their birth parents. Birth parents that didn't exist. That shouldn't be remembered. And then it was too late to fix the mistakes.
And then, 57 adoptive parents are faced with a difficult decision. What is best for the child? Return to the birth family, living in less than ideal living conditions (according to our American standards)? Or a life here in America? With privileges and opportunities not available otherwise. Do you right the wrong? Traumatize the child again? If you were the birth parent, what choice is right? If you are the adoptive parent, what is the right choice? Who legally has a 'right' to this child? Do we have 'rights' to another human? What is the criteria to make such a decision?
One family took their daughter back to Samoa to visit. And left without her. Because it was right for her. She belonged with her family, her birth family. One family vows to fight for their child. To hold up their end of the bargain, to be a forever family - no matter what. One family is encouraging and allowing a relationship with the birth family. I don't know that one answer is better than another. Hopefully it's what is best for each child.
I have a friend whose children went back to the birth parents. Not here in the States, with CSD overlooking these parents. Not in a country with social services to be sure there was at least food on the table. Not in a country with safety nets. Heartbreaking, and yet joyous. Heartbreaking for her. Joyous for the birth parents. They are able to have their family complete. And yet, there is a part of my heart that wonders what life they would have had here, instead of in a third world country.
This story is a sad testament to the fact that adoption is a business. It's a financial and legal transaction. Albeit, an emotional one. And it's a business that MUST be properly overseen. There must be checks and balances in place. There must be oversight that keeps this from happening again. In another country. With other children.
And while I wish my kids were here now, I wouldn't want to bypass all the legal checks and balances in place. They matter. They reassure me and my kids- they truly were orphaned. Their mother really did die. Their father really couldn't care for them. The father understood the decision he was making. He agreed this was best for them. He choose this for them, as a loving parent. This is also the reason to choose carefully, wisely, and prayerfully the people who will be facilitating your adoption. No judgement on the adoptive families involved in this story. But more a lesson learned. And a reason to be thankful for the process that is in place to protect my children.

Thankful for...

Because gratefulness brings contentment - and I'm struggling to be content.

I'm thankful for:

-Heat, Electric blankets, kids to cuddle with, warm coats, gloves, hats, mittens, car heaters, warm socks, hot water, warm food, hot coffee, anything else that takes this chill off.

-Coffee - wonderful, glorious coffee. You, my friend, have always served me well. Your richness, your boldness, the ritual of creating the perfect cup of you, the first taste, the slow enjoyment of a cup, the order you bring to my brain, and how you smell. Oh, how you smell. Heaven will smell like you, fresh roasted, fresh ground and french pressed.

-Lovely, healthy, cheap food. The ability to go to a grocery store and purchase fresh fruits, to have a selection of proteins, and we won't mention the variety of coffee creamer available. To have choices about the food we eat. To have 5 different lettuces to choose from. To have 4 different brands of peanut butter. To have whole grain bread, skinny cow ice cream and carrots all available and affordable.

-Electricity - to post on my blog, to have light at night, to watch another episode of The Office, to bake a cake, cook dinner, and all without wondering how to pay for it or if it will continue to work.

Okay, feeling a little better. So much to be thankful for. It's easy to get distracted by all that I feel I have to go without some days. By the lack of disposable income to take vacations, or go out to eat, or buy new furniture. Or the lack of ability to buy whatever my heart currently desires. However, I've come to realize that buying everything your heart desires only creates a heart that always desires more stuff. But some days I can't help but long for a bank account with a few more zero's. Instead I will be thankful for the huge amount of blessings I do have. And recognize that this too shall pass.